英语幽默短笑话10篇(英语搞笑笑话8篇)

英语幽默短笑话10篇

网上有关“英语幽默短笑话10篇”话题很是火热，小编也是针对英语搞笑笑话8篇寻找了一些与之相关的一些信息进行分析，如果能碰巧解决你现在面临的问题，希望能够帮助到您。

　在繁忙的学习工作中，适时读一些幽默笑话，放松自己，劳逸结合十分重要。下面是我整理的10个英语幽默短笑话，希望大家喜欢!

英语幽默短笑话1.

　Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.

　Mum:There is no electricity tonight.

　Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.

　迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。

　妈妈：今晚停电了。

　迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。

英语幽默短笑话2.

　The Fish Net

　"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

　"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

　"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。

　"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。

英语幽默短笑话3.

　Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

　"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

　"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

　"She is the one who sells the candy."

　小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

　?昨天给你的钱干什么了

　?我给了一个可怜的老太婆，?他回答说。 ?你真是个好孩子，?妈妈骄傲地说。?再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢

　?她是个卖糖果的。?

英语幽默短笑话4.

　I've Just Bitten My Tongue

　"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.

　"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"

　"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

　我刚咬破自己的舌头

　?我们有毒吗一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。

　?是的，亲爱的，?她回答说，?你问这个干什么

　?因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。?

英语幽默短笑话5.

　It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"

　上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：?总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗

英语幽默短笑话6.

　-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

　-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

　-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

　-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。

　-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?

　-- 墓地守墓人。

英语幽默短笑话7.

　Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

　At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

　一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。

　这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：?相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。?

英语幽默短笑话8.

　Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

　Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

　Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

　布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!

　史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登 广告 啊!

　布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。?

英语幽默短笑话9.

　?Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

　-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.

　-- Well, bring me the winner then.

　-- 服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。

　-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。

　-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。

英语幽默短笑话10.

　A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid."

　这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，

　千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，?让小的干吧。?

?

英语幽默短笑话10篇相关 文章 ：

1. 英语搞笑笑话10篇

2. 爆笑英语冷笑话10篇

3. 最搞笑的英语小笑话十则

4. 10个英语幽默短笑话

5. 英语幽默笑话短

英语搞笑笑话8篇

1、一间精神病医院中，某个病患在写信，护士看到了就很好奇的问他。

护士：你要写给谁啊？

病人：写给我自己啊！

护士：那你都写些什么啊？

病人：你神精病啊！我还没收到怎么知道

A mental hospital, a patient in writing, the nurse saw very curious ask him. Nurse: you to write to who? Patient: to my own!

Nurse: that you write what ah?

Patient: you nervous disease! I haven't received how can anyone know?

2、精神病人甲把电话号码本从护士办公室偷回病房。问乙说：”你看我最近完成的这 本小说怎么样”？

乙看了看回答：”不错不错。不过，就是人物多了点儿”。

这时，精神病院的护士进来说：”你们把电话号码本给我放回去！”

The mental patient a telephone number from the nurse's office to steal back to the ward. Ask b say: "you see I recently completed this novel how"?

B looked at the answer: "quite good. However, is that a person many a little".

At this time, the nurse of mental hospital come in to say: "you this give me your phone number to put back!"

3、病人：“我总失眠，有什么办法？”医生：“试试从1数到500。”次日医生询问效果，病人：“太难了，数到200就坚持不住了，喝了杯浓咖啡才数完。”

the patient: "I always insomnia, have what way?" Doctor: "try from 1 number to 500." The next day the doctor ask effect, patient: "too difficult, count to 200 can't hold on, have a cup of strong coffee just several to the end."

4、小乌龟去领结婚证。办事员问乌龟年龄，乌龟说：100。办事员遗憾地说：对不起，按照你们家族规定，你还未成年，不准结婚。

The little turtle to get a marriage license. The clerk asked the tortoise age, the tortoise said: 100. The clerk sorry to say: I'm sorry, according to your family, you still young, provisions are not allowed to get married

5、消防队：哪里着火了？报警人：我家。消防队：我是问在什么地方？报警人：在厨房。消防队：我是说我们怎么去？报警人：你们不是有消防车吗？！

Fire department: where was on fire? Reporter: my house. Fire department: I am to ask in what place? Reporter: in the kitchen. Fire department: I mean how do we go there? Reporter: you are not a fire truck? !!!!!

6、三人买早点。第一个说：一个煎蛋，不要蛋黄。老板就照着煎了一个蛋。 第二个说：一个煎蛋，不要蛋白。老板照做了，有点不耐烦。 轮到第三个，老板吼：你呢？不要什么？ 第三个胆怯地说：我……我的不要蛋壳……

Three people buy breakfast. The first one said: a Fried egg, not the egg yolk. The boss as a Fried egg. The second one said: a Fried egg, don't protein. The boss did, was a bit impatient. Third, the boss's roar loud: what about you? Don't The third timidly say: I... I don't eggshell...

7、 一天，茄子走在大街，忽然打了一个很大的喷嚏。它抹了把鼻涕生气地说：“可恶！又有人拍集体照了！”

8、樱子跟小强说：“今天考试的时候我踢你一下，你就要给我瞄一下。”到了考试的时候，樱子踢了小强一下，小强便回答：喵！

One day, walking in the street, suddenly eggplant played a big sneezing. It with the nose in anger say: "damn! And others take the group!"

With jack Bauer said: "from the test today I play you once, when you will give me a scan." The examination of the time, from the small strong once, small strong play will answer: meow!!!!!

9、小丽：爸爸，发药的阿姨为什么戴口罩？

爸爸：给你的药很好吃，院长怕她们偷吃了。

小丽：给那些拿刀的叔叔戴口罩是怕他们聚餐吧？

Xiaoli: dad, hair why does the aunt of the medicine wear a face mask?

Dad: give your medicine is very delicious, dean afraid they steal to eat.

Xiaoli: to those who drew the sword is afraid of their uncle wear a face mask dinner?

10、大黑熊将一个蜂窝放到水里，想把蜂窝里的蜜蜂泡出来，谁知蜂群出来后，就追的黑熊满世界跑，熊太太见状大骂:“就你那个笨熊样，还敢泡小蜜？”

The big black bear will a honeycomb into water, wants the cellular bees in the bubble out, but after coming out, will chase swarm the black bear world run, the bear wife looked at to lambaste: "will you bear the stupid sample, still dare to bubble small honey?"

英语笑话带翻译 短一些

　下面是我整理的英语搞笑笑话8篇，欢迎大家阅读!

　英语搞笑笑话：Imitation 模仿

　A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. Well, sit down and eat your tea, said his mother. Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it.

　Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.

　That's because it's empty, said his bright son. You'd be all right if you had something in it.

　一个男孩放学回家时，觉得肚子痛。来，坐下，吃点点心，妈妈说，你肚子痛是因为肚子是空的。吃点东西就会好的。

　一会儿，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，说是头痛。

　你头痛是因为你的脑袋是空的，他那聪明的儿子说，里面装点东西，就会好的。

　英语搞笑笑话：　Fried chicken

　In class the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked one of the students, "What kind of bird do you like best, Jack?"

　Jack thought a moment, then answered, "Fried chicken, sir."

　老师在课堂上向学生们展示了各种各样的鸟的照片。然后他问其中一名学生，?杰克，你最喜欢哪种鸟儿啊?

　杰克想了想，回答，?炸鸡，老师。?

　英语搞笑笑话：I've Just Bitten My Tongue

　I've Just Bitten My Tongue

　"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.

　"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"

　"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

　英语搞笑笑话：我刚咬破自己的舌头

　?我们有毒吗?一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。

　?是的，亲爱的，?她回答说，?你问这个干什么?

　?因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。?

　How much English can you speak?

　"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to

　be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his

　way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."

　The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"

　The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"

　"法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。

　而且，他只会说几个 英语单词 。"

　法官看了看被告，问道："你会说多少英文?"

　被告抬起头，说："把你的钱包给我!"

　英语搞笑笑话：He Won 他赢了

　Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

　Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

　Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

　汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗?

　约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

　汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿?

　约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

　英语搞笑笑话：Three pastors 三个牧师

　Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I?ve been having trouble with bats in my loft(阁楼) and attic at church. I?ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.

　Another said, Yes, me too. I?ve got hundreds living in my belfry(钟楼) and in the attic. I?ve been had the place fumigated(熏制) , and they still won?t go away.

　The third said, I baptized(洗礼) all mine, and made them members of the church...haven?t seen one back since!

　三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭。其中的一个说道：?你们知道吗，自从夏天来临，我的教堂的阁楼和顶楼就被蝙蝠骚扰，我用尽了一切办法----噪音、喷雾、猫----似乎什么都不能把它们赶走。?

　另外一位说：?是啊，我也是。在我的钟楼和阁楼也有好几百只。我曾经请人把整个地方用烟熏消毒一遍，它们还是赶不走。?

　第三个牧师说：?我为我那里的所有蝙蝠洗礼，让它们成为教会的一员......从此一只也没有再回来过。?

　英语搞笑笑话：Excited Remarks 激动的话

　Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals(长声尖叫) of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I'm going to have one of those someday, his dad's response always was Not as long as I'm alive.

　One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I'm getting one of those as soon as my dad dies.

　我五岁的儿子对摩托车有强烈的 爱好 。只要看见一辆摩托车，他就会高兴得哇哇直叫，并激动地说：瞧这辆!瞧这辆，我总有一天也要有一辆。他爸爸的回答老是只要我活着，你就别想有这玩艺儿。

　一天我们的儿子跟他的小朋友在说话，有一辆摩托车开了过去。他兴奋的指着摩托车叫道瞧这辆!瞧这辆!等我爸一死我就要有这样一辆摩托车了。

　英语搞笑笑话：Logic Reasoning 逻辑推理

　A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.

　Here is the situation, she said. A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.

　His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?

　A girl raised her hand and asked, to draw out all of his savings?

　小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。

　他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会 游泳 ，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么? 一个女生举手答道，是不是去取他的存款?

5个英语小笑话!要中文!越短越好!

英语笑话带翻译 举例如下：

英语短笑话大全带翻译一：

Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up.?

She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."

不速之客就在路上，我妈妈，一个完美的`家庭主妇，正忙里忙外地整理。她分配给我爸和我哥哥的任务是打扫供客人使用的浴室。

一会儿之后，当她去检查的时候，她吃惊了，曾经一度杂乱的房间瞬间就被打扫干净了。接着她看到浴帘上有一张纸条，纸条上写着：“谢谢你没往浴缸里看。”

英语短笑话大全带翻译二：A preacher is buying a parrot 传教士买鹦鹉

A preacher is buying a parrot

Are you sure it doesnt scream, yell, or swear? asked the preacher.

Oh absolutely. Its a religious parrot, the storekeeper assures him.

Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lords prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.

Wonderful! says the preacher, but what happens if you pull both strings?

I fall off my perch, you stupid fool! screeched the parrot.

一个传教士在买鹦鹉

“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。

“哦，绝对不会。它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。”店主保证说。

“你看见它腿上的这些细绳了吗?当你拉动右面的这根，它会背诵天主经，当你拉动左面的那根，它会背诵赞美诗”

“太棒了!”传教士说，“但是如果我同时拉动两条绳子，会发生什么呢?”

“我会从树干上掉下去的，你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。

英语短笑话大全带翻译三：吝啬鬼的聚会

The Mean Mans Party

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

吝啬鬼的聚会

一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了后，再用你的脚把门推开。”

“为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?”

“天哪!” 吝啬鬼回答，“你总不会空着手来吧?”

英语笑话（一）

Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?

A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.

猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？

Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?

A: By treading on his corn?

如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。

Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?

A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.

因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？

Q: What do people do in a clock factory?

A: They make faces all day.

一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。

Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?

A: Keep him awake.

怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。

英语笑话（二）

He is really somebody

-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

他真是一个大人物

-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。

-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？

-- 墓地守墓人。

英语笑话（三）

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

它们是从美国直接带来的

一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。

这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”

英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

我的狗不识字

布朗夫人：哦，

亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！

史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！

布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”

英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner

-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.

-- Well, bring me the winner then.

给我那个打赢的吧

-- 服务员，

这个龙虾只有一只爪。

-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。

-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。



英式幽默英语小笑话

英式幽默英语小笑话

　1、The thief and the judge

　It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner "What are you charged with" he asked

　"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant

　"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping"

　"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner

　法官与小偷

　那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。你为什么而被起诉他问。

　采购圣诞节物品过早。被告答。

　这不算犯法，法官回答，你购物多早

　在商店开门之前，犯人应道。

　2、Jesus's Telly

　A child on Christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib Eventually the artistic masterpiece was displayed for parental approval The manager, the shepherds, Jesus and Holy Family wore duly admired

　"But what's that in the corner" asked Mother

　"Oh, that's their telly," replied the tot

　耶稣的电视机

　圣诞节时孩子要了纸和蜡笔，想画一张耶稣诞生像。最后这件艺术品被陈列出来供父母鉴赏。

　他们对耶稣诞生后睡的马槽，牧羊人，耶稣及其家庭都逐一表示赞赏。

　可是那个角落里是什么妈妈问。

　噢，那是他们的电视机，孩子回答说。

　3、What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden

　Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe

　圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么

　答案：锄地。(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是锄草之意，ho则是圣诞老人的笑声。)

　4、On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor Which one of them do you think picked it up

　Answer: Santa of course! Why Because everybody knows that the other two dont exist!

　圣诞节前夕，圣诞老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律师在一家高级饭店一同等电梯，门还未开前，三人同时看到地上有一张新台币1000元的钞票，猜猜谁会将它捡起

　答案：当然是圣诞老人啦!为什么因为大家都知道另外两者并不存在。

　5、Did You Know Him At a dinner party in the home of friends, our host mentioned his highschool alma mater One of the guests asked him if he had been a student there at the same time as a particular vice principal "I sure was!" answered the host "He's the biggest jerk I've ever met Did you know him too" "Sort of," replied the guest "My mother married him last Saturday"

　你认识他吗 在朋友家的一次宴会上，主人提起一位高中时的校友。 一位客人问他读书期间，某位副校长是否也在职。 当然了，主人答道。他是我见过的最大的混蛋。你也认识他吗 有点认识，客人回答。我妈妈上周六嫁给了他。

　6、中间战术Midway Tactics

　Midway Tactics

　Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall

　Observers waited for mayhem to ensue

　The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying,

　"Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"

　The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming,

　"Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

　The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign

　that simply stated, "ENTRANCE"

　中间战术

　三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。

　右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：大减价!特便宜!

　左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：大砍价!大折扣!

　中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：入口处

　7、猪或女巫Pig or Witch

　A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road

　A woman is driving down the same road

　As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!"

　The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH!!"

　They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner,

　he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road

　If only men would listen

　一个男人在一条陡峭狭窄的山路上驾车，一个女人相向驾车而来。

　他们相遇时，那个女的从窗中伸出头来叫到：猪!!

　那个男的立即从窗中伸出头来回敬道：女巫!!

　他们继续前行。这个男的在下一个路口转弯时，撞上了路中间的一头猪。

　要是这个男的能听懂那个女人的意思就好了。

　8、At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend

　"Shall I engrave her name on it" the jeweler asked

　The customer thought for a moment, and then said,

　"No-engrave it 'To my one and only love' That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again"

　在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的'礼物。

　要我把她的名字刻在上面吗珠宝商问道。

　那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：

　不--在上面刻给我唯一的爱。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。

　9、歌德的容忍

　Goethe's Tolerance

　Goethe was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar

　As luck would have it, he met with a critic who was hostile to him

　Both of them stopped, staring at each other

　Then the critic said, "I'll never make way for a fool"

　"But I will," with that Goethe retreated aside

　歌德的容忍

　一次，歌德正在魏玛一个公园的一条狭窄小道上散步。

　碰巧他遇见一个对他怀有敌意的评论家。

　两人都停了下来，彼此相互对视。接着评论家说道：我从来不给傻瓜让路。

　可我给。说完歌德退到了一边。

　10、The Mean Man's Party

　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party

　Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said,

　"Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow

　When the door open, push with your foot"

　"Why use my elbow and foot"

　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you"

　一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。

　他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：你上到五楼，用你的胳膊肘按门铃。

　门开了后，再用你的脚把门推开。

　为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢

　天哪! 吝啬鬼回答，你总不会空着手来吧

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[关于双语英语小笑话]英语小笑话

　　笑话能映射出不同的社会生活,是各民族智慧的集中体现,反映了本民族的生活观和价值观。下面是我带来的关于双语英语小笑话，欢迎欣赏!

　　关于双语英语小笑话篇1

A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold

有个人开车行驶在上班的路上，一辆卡车闯红灯从侧面撞上了他的车，当时他就不省人事了。

Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him

路旁的行人把他从车里拉出来并唤醒他。

He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics

刚一醒过来，他就拼命的挣扎着，最后不得不用了药物才让他镇静下来。

Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so

过了一会儿，他平静了，别人问他为什么要这么恐怖的挣扎，

He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing

他说：被撞之后我就什么都不知道了，

I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign And somebody was standing in front of the 'S'

当我醒过来，我发现我躺在了路边，前面是一个巨大的广告牌上面闪烁着壳牌，但是有个人挡住了那个s。

　关于双语英语小笑话篇2

This is your captain speaking On behalf of my crew

这是你们机长的声音。

I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight602 from New York to London

请允许我代表全体工作人员，欢迎你们乘坐英国航空公司602号航班从纽约飞往伦敦。

We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic

我们此时在大西洋上空35,000英尺的高度。

"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe thatboth the starboard engines are on fire "

如果你从飞机的右边向窗外看去，你将会发现右侧的两个引擎都已经起火。

If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallenoff

如果你从左边往外看，你就会看到那边的机翼已经脱落了。

"If you look down towards the Atlantic Ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with threepeople in it to waving at you

如果你俯视下面的大西洋，那么你会看到一艘**的救生筏，上面有三个人正在朝你挥手。

That's me, the copilot, and one of the air stewardesses This is a recording

那是我、副驾驶员还有我们的一名女乘务员。这是一段录音。

　关于双语英语小笑话篇3

A guy gets set up on a blind dateand he takes herout for dinner to a very expensive restaurantto makea good impression

一个小伙子被安排去相亲，为了能给女孩留一个好印象，他带着她去了家收费昂贵的餐厅。

The waiter approaches the table and asks to take their order

服务生过来问他们要点些什么菜。

The lady begins ordering practically everything on the menu,shrimp cocktail, pate, CaesarSalad, lobster, crepes Suzette,with no regard to the price

女孩开始点菜了，她几乎点了菜单上所有的东西，鸡尾虾、派、凯撒沙拉、龙虾、柳橙可丽饼，完全不考虑价格。

The guy is getting very upset,as he never thought she would order so much

小伙子变得很不安，他真没想到女孩竟然会点这么多菜。

She then stops, and looks across at him, and asks,"What do you suggest I wash it down with"

这时她停下了，看着坐在对面的他，问，你认为咱们该喝什么酒水配这些菜呢

"Well my dear, I can think of nothing so fitting as the Mississippi River"

哦，亲爱的，我觉得没有什么东西比密西西比河更合适了。

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